It is now February 2009........and to update you on my unicycling proficiency I can honestly say that I can actually ride now!
I am not, nor ever will be, employed by a circus, unless a deadly virus attacks the human race and I am the only unicycle act left in the shires.
Having said that, the tremendous sense of achievement is mind blowing.......my balance is much better....I no longer need to lean on the bar until the second pint of real ale is nearly finished!......I can now focus for much longer periods on a subject....up to 2 -3 minutes sometimes.
I am fitter and able to stay awake until 8 or 9 pm(at weekends).
The physical scars on my elbows and knees have healed, however, my head is still in disarray even though the skull is repaired( my mates' a welder!).
I have been practicing this weekend and am now learning to 'free mount' and 'hover', this, in unicycle world is comparible with a novice skier, straight off the nursery slopes, attempting going 'off piste' in the dark whilst under the influence of crack cocaine!.
Monday 23 February 2009
Sunday 22 February 2009
The Struggle
February 2008 - I started by sitting on the uni and holding on to the garden gate......after 3 days, I was still on the gate, sore bum, cold and very hungry.....
Decided to ignore the general rules of learning to unicycle which included rocking back and fore on the seat till you feel confident........I would still be rocking like some weird person.
Instead I threw myself away from the gate and peddled..........hit the concrete before half a revolution of the peddle....sustained life threatening injuries to both elbows, both knees and hairline fracture of the skull....so seeing sense I got to my feet ....remounted.....and did exactly the same suicidal move......by now adrenelin had kicked in and pain was less severe.
I continued this until finally I ran out of living flesh on said elbow and knee joints.
This routine went on for weeks until I managed to peddle nearly 4 mtrs to the lawn!!
In March of that year I moved up to hanging from the roof bars on my car, getting my feet correctly on the peddles.........and then throwing myself away from the car...no less painful than leaving the gate, only more potential for falling back and cracking my skull open. There was nothing for it but to buy some safety gear......fingerless gloves!
The reason for the gloves?....well believe it or not, the most painful part of falling off a unicycle is landing on the heel of your hands.
Some people claim that you cannot fall off a unicycle because you always land on your feet........total crap......of the 4,894 times I have left the seat, I have only ever landed on my feet 3 times( and my ankle gave way the second time)
Decided to ignore the general rules of learning to unicycle which included rocking back and fore on the seat till you feel confident........I would still be rocking like some weird person.
Instead I threw myself away from the gate and peddled..........hit the concrete before half a revolution of the peddle....sustained life threatening injuries to both elbows, both knees and hairline fracture of the skull....so seeing sense I got to my feet ....remounted.....and did exactly the same suicidal move......by now adrenelin had kicked in and pain was less severe.
I continued this until finally I ran out of living flesh on said elbow and knee joints.
This routine went on for weeks until I managed to peddle nearly 4 mtrs to the lawn!!
In March of that year I moved up to hanging from the roof bars on my car, getting my feet correctly on the peddles.........and then throwing myself away from the car...no less painful than leaving the gate, only more potential for falling back and cracking my skull open. There was nothing for it but to buy some safety gear......fingerless gloves!
The reason for the gloves?....well believe it or not, the most painful part of falling off a unicycle is landing on the heel of your hands.
Some people claim that you cannot fall off a unicycle because you always land on your feet........total crap......of the 4,894 times I have left the seat, I have only ever landed on my feet 3 times( and my ankle gave way the second time)
What do you want for your birthday?
About 400 years before my 49th birthday, my wife, with the memory of a person who mentally resembles the elephant, asked what I would like for my birthday, I thought for about 327 years and came up with a unicycle. I immediately forgot my request and carried on dreaming of winning the lottery and buying a 'camel' spec landrover.
On the 19th of July 2006 my present was opened....unicycle!
With great enthusiasm I vowed to learn to ride by my 50th birthday......oops!
In January 2008, I realised that my body was straining to carry 16 stone. Time to get fit I thought. How?..... Easy! ......join a gym?......too expensive and full of well fit posers......Walking?...........no time to do it everyday............Swimming?.......similar to gym plus having the mindset of a 12 year old I get bored swimming back and for and start to bomb other swimmers or grab their legs as they go past!.......Diet?......brilliant!!!......but........love curry and real ale.......
February 2008...still trying to find diet which includes hot curry and Marston's Pedigree. Walk in to garage and bang head on wheel of unicycle......BRILLIANT IDEA!
On the 19th of July 2006 my present was opened....unicycle!
With great enthusiasm I vowed to learn to ride by my 50th birthday......oops!
In January 2008, I realised that my body was straining to carry 16 stone. Time to get fit I thought. How?..... Easy! ......join a gym?......too expensive and full of well fit posers......Walking?...........no time to do it everyday............Swimming?.......similar to gym plus having the mindset of a 12 year old I get bored swimming back and for and start to bomb other swimmers or grab their legs as they go past!.......Diet?......brilliant!!!......but........love curry and real ale.......
February 2008...still trying to find diet which includes hot curry and Marston's Pedigree. Walk in to garage and bang head on wheel of unicycle......BRILLIANT IDEA!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
